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How to Build a Strong Marriage

You have found someone who you want to marry but now you are worried if you can make it last. The answer is yes but not without work. Here are some things you can work toward building a strong relationship.

1) Working at authenticity An example of this is often one or both people will do activities that don’t really interest them. They want to spend time with their partner so they sit through football games or ballets or movies that they are not into. After they are married they don’t need to do this to spend time with the other person so they don’t go to the activities anymore and the other person feels cheated and slightly lonely.

Work at finding relaxing and fun things to do that you both genuinely enjoy.

2) Spend time with your in-laws I know your not going to marry your in-laws and you might not enjoy their company immensely but they are your partners parents and if you pay attention when you are with them you will learn a lot about your relationship. What do they value? What do they enjoy? How do they treat each other?

Study your in-laws and apply what your learn.

3) Stop the impulse to want to change. There is a temptation to want to change your partner so they will suit you better. Resist it! If you are embarrassed or irritated by your partner it is unlikely you will be able to change them. You are just going to make both of you miserable. Your job is to accept them the way they are. (Think about how you hate someone trying to change you.)

Worry more about acceptance than change.

4) Focus on what you like and admire The longer you are in a relationship the easier it is to focus on all the things that bother you. I am not going to say this is all bad because sometimes you need to address problems if they become an issue. Don’t forget to temper those thoughts with what's good and admirable about your partner.

Think of the admirable qualities of your partner as often as you can.

There is no magic formula for a good relationship. They take work and commitment but a good marriage is invaluable and worth the time and energy. What did we miss? Can you think of other valuable things you need to work on to build a strong relationship?

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